Tales of a Cynical Professor
by His-Faithful-Succubus
Summary: Prologue to a series entitled: Tales of a Cynical Professor. Story of Hiroki past and present life. Separated into sections of: Egoistical Past ( Hiroki & Akihiko ) Egoistical Mid-Life Crisis ( Hiroki & Yoh ) Egoistical Present ( Hiroki & Nowaki )
1. Prologue

I wonder when exactly it was that my life spiraled out of control. Surely it was many years ago. Unfortunately, I can still recall most of my experiences, both good and bad. I had become a tragic mess, I left anyone who I came into contact with with a bitter taste. After awhile I took no relationship seriously-even the one I had desperately wanted. It caused me to lose everything I held dear to me. Why I chose to walk a path a self destruction I cannot tell you, for even I still haven't come to terms with it...

My daily life now is an ordinary one. Work takes up most of my time as it would for anyone. I do not live alone. Currently in my residence is my...partner if you want to call it that. We've been together for several years. He's talked of marriage, but I insisted that there was no need to waste money on a certificate. Younger by four years and ridiculously tall, he seems to tower over me with his upbeat personality. It's a dramatic change from my previous relationships. None have been younger, and none have had a mindset that wasn't related to work. Whether it was writing or teaching, they focused on their careers-as did I. Slowly, it caused our connections to crash and burn.

My past is a complicated one...


	2. Egoistical Past Chapter: 1

**Chapter: 1** Change the course of your love.

"A-Akihiko-" Hiroki's voice stuttered upon climax. His fingers burrowed into the back of the young author where several other red marks had already been made. Deeply exhaling he slowly let his arms fall to the bed and allowed his body to relax, considering it had been under tension from the optimal arousal the novelist provided.

"Hiroki-that was quicker than usual." The silver haired man gazed upon him with his deep violet eyes. His cold hand grazed along the brunette's pelvic area. "You didn't give me time to finish." The statement was accompanied by a smirk.

"Yeah, yeah-shut up. It's not my fault you've been busy writing that book of yours. If you would have done it when you were suppose to you wouldn't be in this mess." He snarled at the other.

All Akihiko did was sigh. Hiroki was a prideful man, quick to blame the other for his embarrassment.

"I told you-I had no inspiration to write. Why would I bother writing a novel when the outcome wouldn't satisfy me?"

Hiroki's gaze drifted elsewhere, away from the alluring eyes of his childhood friend-and as of recently, his lover.

Lost and unrequited, Hiroki thought his love for Akihiko would be in vain. Though, shortly after realizing what intense feelings the young man had for him, Akihiko decided to change his own course of love. Eventually concluding that his feelings for Takahiro would only go unnoticed and unrequited themselves. He figured that Hiroki was a much more suitable match, and he was utterly moved by how he felt towards him. Knowing him for so long, he needed not to gain any new knowledge on him. They could start their relationship as if they had already been together for years.

Thus it did. Hiroki managed to confess-at least to the extent that his pride would let him. Akihiko, who was caught off guard, did not accept at the start-nor did he particularly reject either.

Now, Hiroki's mind wandered back.

"Ehh?! Akihiko! I told you to not to get this for me! Do you know how expensive this is?!" Hiroki exclaimed from his seat in the University's lecture hall. In his hands was a limited edition book he had been eyeballing at the bookstore for months.

"Of course I know how expensive it is. I bought it, didn't I?" Akihiko gazed upon the brunette lazily as he propped his head up with his hand.

It didn't take Akihiko much to know how badly Hiroki had wanted that book. Sharing the same hobbies, they often went by the bookstore together-in which Hiroki would gawk at the book from front to back, like a small child with candy that he couldn't have.

Being as wealthy as he was, the great novelist had money to sling around. He figured that one good deed would at least do some good, and judging by Hiroki's expression, it did.

The brunette's mouth gaped and he handled the book as if it were his newborn child. "I can't possibly repay you for this, especially when I still have student loans to pay off. Damn it, why did you have to go off and get me this!?"

"It's what friends do isn't it? Friends buy gifts for other friends, so I've heard anyway."

"B-But, you already give me a free copy of all your novels, not to mention you let me proofread them before they are even issued. I can't accept this!"

"Well you're going to." The author said sternly. "You wanted it, did you? So keep it."

"I can't possibly-where's the receipt? I'll return it and give you the money back."

"No point. I threw it out already. What do you think I meant when I said 'well you're going to'?"

"Haah?!" Hiroki was content and embarrassed all at once. He had admired the book for a long time. Though he never imagined his friend would go through the trouble for him. Akihiko was reclusive and at many times selfish-but he did have a kind side to him. Hiroki saw that quality within him long ago, it was one of the many reasons he loved Akihiko as intensely as he did.

"Quiet down. You're too loud. Not to mention you're adding to my migraine. I stayed up trying to finish a manuscript." The violet eyed man bent over and reached into his bag to pull out a manila envelope fashioned with a string. Putting it on the desk in front of Hiroki he motioned for him to take a look; since Hiroki had always been his volunteer editor.

The brunette almost let a smile slip across his face as the lecture started. He was truly happy.

As the day progressed Hiroki gradually alternated from the manuscript to his new novel at verbatim. Akihiko smiled as he watched his young friend have the time of his life, he was easily pleased with the right material.

The end of the day approached for Hiroki. He had just come out of his last lecture of the day, and already had he started his new novel. Blindly walking down the University stairs-book in hand he accidentally bumped into several students. Barely apologizing before getting back to the line he was on. At the bottom of the stairs stood Akihiko, whose day had ended some time ago. He figured they could share a walk home and go over feedback for his new novel, but he had that idea much earlier in the day.

Unknowingly, Hiroki descended the stairs and walked past the novelist. In which he then took one strong hand and caught the collar of the brunette's neatly pressed dress shirt. It took being choked by his own attire for Hiroki to finally pulled the book from his face.

"Oi-are you trying to kill me?!" He turned around full circle and yelled at the seemingly emotionless author.

"No. But I doubt you could tell if someone else was. You should pay more attention to your surroundings."

"Hmph. What are you talking about? I pay attention."

"Tell that to all those people you bumped into." Akihiko said as he began walking to the school's entrance.

Shutting his book and placing it in his bag, Hiroki followed close behind until eventually catching up to speed. Their foot steps synced and harmonized as they clacked against the linoleum floor.

Silence fell upon them. It didn't happen often, Akihiko usually struck up something for them to discuss. However when he was brooding, he didn't particularly converse. Periodically gazing his way, the shorter male tried to figure out the other's thoughts. With no success, he left it alone for the time being. Walking ahead he held the door open for his close friend.

"Ah, I read your manuscript from this morning." Hiroki said making room for Akihiko to pass by.

"Hmm, did you?" No eye contact was made.

"There were no problems-" Hiroki let his voice trail as he saw that the author paid him no attention.

"Akihiko?"

"Mmm?" He turned upon being called.

"Are you paying attention? It's your book we're discussing."

"Ah-yes. I was looking for feedback from you."

Hiroki scowled and thought to himself. What could have possibly happened during the day that could cause Akihiko to almost disregard him? His eyes widened slightly. He immediately knew what it was, or rather who it was.

Takahiro.

"How the hell can you look for feedback when you can't even focus properly?!" Hiroki exclaimed in slight anger.

Takahiro was Akihiko's friend of many years. A tall, caring and moderately naive man. He was the perfect companion for anyone, but his biggest flaw was his obliviousness. Akihiko had been in love with him for several years. When Hiroki found this out, it deeply pained him. Hiroki was painfully aware of how Akihiko felt for the other man, but never would he admit his love, his anger, or his jealousy.

But today...

"You're off in your own thoughts again aren't you?! It's that stupid Takahiro guy isn't it?!"

"Hiroki-"

"Damn it, he's all you talk about! I'm tired of seeing you getting depressed over some guy who obviously doesn't see how much you love him! Why do you bother loving him?! It's been on going and he still doesn't see it! Just give up! ...just-"

Hiroki cupped his face with his hands as tears began to form. Not a moment later they began to run down his face, stinging as they fell. He tried his best to cover it up, but he couldn't deny it-he was upset, he was hurt-and he was ultimately...lonely.

Akihiko hadn't seen Hiroki since they were children. Never did Hiroki show any emotion for any reason, his pride kept that in tact. With widened violet eyes, the taller man could only whisper Hiroki's name in a voice barely audible to even himself.

A cold hand rose to comfort the brunette, but it was forcefully brushed aside.

"...sorry. Just go to him. I know that's what you want." Hiroki said through gritted teeth as he attempted to hold back sobs.

"Hiroki what is this about? Why are you so upset? You've known about Takahiro for awhile now-it's never seemed to phase you."

"...you're just like him. You're damn oblivious as hell."

"How so?"

Hiroki shook his head. He couldn't stop the tears from flowing. He had shamed himself in front of the man he loved most; never wanting him to see him in this state.

"Forget it. I'll walk myself home." He shifted the strap of his bag to a more comfortable position on his shoulder and began to walk off toward the street.

"Hiroki." The silver haired author said sternly as he grabbed his friend's arm in the bicep region.

"I said forget it!" He pulled his arm from the other's grip. "Go home, go to him! I don't care! Leave me alone. It's been years already, so why bother noticing how I feel now!?"

While they conversed in the front of the University, other students began leaving for the day. Hiroki had been raising his voice without notice, he was too distraught and all the built up anger was releasing itself from his body. A crowd started to draw around them considering Akihiko had status.

Akihiko, noticing the crowd, lowered his gaze. Grabbing Hiroki by the wrist he dragged him to his car which was parked in the student parking lot. The whole way Hiroki did not seize his explosive commentary.

"Let me go, damn it! I said I was leaving!"

Grabbing his keys and remote for the car Akihiko opened the passenger side and pushed Hiroki inside. Not a moment after, he locked the whole car and used his key to open the driver's side for himself.

"Open the fucking car! Let me out!-I don't want to be near you right now!" Hiroki yelled, lifting his arms to push at the large novelist. Akihiko caught the brunette's arms by the wrists in mid swing, gripping tightly he caused red marks to form.

"Hiroki! What the hell is going on!? Why are you persisting on leaving?!" Akihiko exclaimed in concern, but Hiroki continued to thrash and protest.

The violet eyed author remembered back to their childhood. When Hiroki would cry he was almost inconsolable, he could not be told to stop, nor would he stop on his own for some time. Therefore Akihiko had to renew the technique he had used as a child.

In one forceful motion, the novelist pushed back the hands of the brunette-clearing his face of any annoyance. He then took his chance and tilted his head ever so slightly so that his lips locked with Hiroki's. The lock was firm, and almost completely open mouthed.

The smaller male struggled, his eyebrows furrowed and his fists clenched. He could no longer speak, nor did he know what to say. His mind went blank.

He let himself stay in the moment, but only for a second before pulling away completely. He knew it wasn't right on his friend's part.

He swallowed hard and his breathes were laboured.

"...why did you?-"

The silver haired man sat back in his seat, knowing that he finally had the other under control.

"I figured it would catch you off guard enough for you to regain your senses. Seems I was right."

Hiroki held the back of his hand over his mouth for a moment.

"...Jerk. That's not how you do that kind of thing." He mumbled, forcefully throwing his head back against the seat. A loud breath of air escaped his lips.

Akihiko looked over at the brunette through his peripherals.

"What's gotten into you? You were calm all day, why is that when I mention Takahiro you..."

"I what? Overreacted?! Exploded?! Tch, you wouldn't know anyway." Hiroki crossed his arms and made sure his face wasn't visible to the other.

"You're right, I don't know." His voice was deep. "...but I believe an explain is in order here." Akihiko's tone was sincere and genuine. He truly wanted to know the cause of Hiroki's violent outburst.

Hiroki gripped his arm tightly.

"You want an explanation?...An explanation of why I've been feelings this way for what seems like countless years?!"

He paused, biting his lip-hard.

"It's because...you're a selfish, oblivious, smug jerk! All you worry about is Takahiro! I've been here almost all your life and you go after...that?! He has no interest in you, and you know that damn well! Er...what I'm trying to say is...I guess I...l-love you." He said in an almost inaudible tone.

"Hiro...ki. I had no idea-"

"Of course you didn't. I'd never of told you, unless you would have found it out for yourself somehow."

"You should have said something. You're a treasured friend, I would have at least understood."

"Tch. Don't worry about it." Hiroki shifted his position to leaning against the window. His chin resting in the palm of his hand. His heart was beating rapidly, almost as if it could leap out of his chest. The confession had knocked down his pride, therefore he was vulnerable.

"You know, it's not like I haven't thought about us before."

Hiroki jumped in his seat-startled.

"You what?!"

"Yes. It wasn't necessarily an elaborate thought. Just a 'what if'. Being in a relationship with you would almost be like living alone. You're not bothersome."

Hiroki scowled and slightly blushed.

The young author took out a cigarette from the pack and lit it. Making sure to open the window for air. The light breeze flowed through the car and lifted his hair gently. Hiroki caught a glimpse of his face from the corner of his eye, and unconsciously took a moment to stare.

He managed to refocus when Akihiko ruffled his hair. The novelist's hand were large, but they had a cool gentle touch.

"If it will help, I won't talk about Takahiro anymore. You are right. He has no interest in me, I don't think he ever could." He took a puff from his cigarette, then exhaled close to the window. "And I suppose I could give things between us a try. "

The brunette's eyes widened and his face heated up with a red glow. He could not believe what he had heard. Was Akihiko really willing to engage in a relationship with him? Would it work out? He was filled with the utmost content as well as confusion.

"A-Ah-but wouldn't that ruin our friendship? I mean, what if things don't turn out?"

"Hmm, I highly doubt it. I know you well, and you know me. We know each others kinks." The author narrowly gazed in Hiroki's direction, hoping he had caught his double entendre.

"Hiroki?-Hiroki? Were you paying attention?" Akihiko shouted to get the other's attention.

"A-Ah, yes. Sorry-I must of got lost in thought." Hiroki said as he scratched the back of his head. He was still laying flat on the bed, the author over top.

"Thoughts of what?-Don't tell me your fantasizing."

"Fantasizing?! Don't be stupid! I never have such thoughts." He furrowed his eyebrows, almost to the point of them touching.

"Not even about the Great Lord Akihiko Usami?" The larger man asked in a low, raspy tone. Taking it upon himself to kiss the nape of the other's neck and gentle allowed his tongue to wander.

Hiroki flinched and clenched his teeth, pushing up at the man with moderate reluctant force.

"Stop, damn it. I don't think about that crap. I wish I could say that same for you-pervert!"

Akihiko chuckled. "I can't help it, you're too cute for me to pass up the thought. I get lost in the vivid image of you. On the bed, waiting for me, nak-"

"Enough! I'm done with you and your stupid ideas!"

"Well that may be, Hiroki. But just because you're done with me, that doesn't mean I'm finished with you. As you can recall, you finished early, and until I see fit, this is still far from over."


End file.
